Dear Lindsay,Betch, this has to stop. I just got an Amber Alert telling me that once again, you've been stealing. This time a fur coat? Sicko whack job, I'm begging you to get a pump of anti-bac gel and wash your sticky, filthy, furry little fingers. Because stealing is not a victimless crime. I'm still scared of you after what you did to me, and my kids sometimes wake up at night screaming random stuff like "my left foot. It's so COLD." It breaks my heart. They are resilient, but still, it's wrong, Lindsay, just flat ass wrong. I know you've been through a lot, but Meryl doesn't pull shit…